When 3 - 13 feels like 13 - 3

Recently, I had two separate conversations, one with a parent of an athlete and one with an athlete, about how, even though they were a part of a team that won their league's championship, the experience was miserable for everyone on the team. 

Far too often, we hear about cultures like this. While they are successful on paper, they lack meaningful connections, a sense of "us", and the belief that people on this team matter. 

Don't get me wrong, winning is awesome. However, cutting corners and  pursuing short-term wins at any costs means everyone ends up losing. 

A common thread in both conversations above was that members of the team chose to quit and transfer after the championship season because of the toll it took on them. Rather than being excited for a repeat of the team's success, they felt that they lacked any vision for how they could grow in the system during the next year. 

This is devastating.

Winning cures everything... except what it can't

Here's the good news, we know that cultures that create deep connections, foster an identity and aim to leave a legacy win at higher-levels. 

At the start of our work together, we ask leaders and teams to complete an exercise that defines who they were, what they stand for, and the actions connected to becoming who they say they want to be. 

From this, we are able to develop the standards to hold each other accountable and lay the foundation for what this group's legacy will be. 

With one of the teams that I work with, heading into the season, we knew it was going to be an uphill battle to be competitive. 

I'll be the first to admit that at some point, you can't "out-culture" talent. 

However, what has transpired over the course of this season has been truly tremendous. While the record shows they are 3 - 13, you would swear, being around this group and on the bench for their games, that they are 13 - 3. 

They are a group of athletes who show up every single day filled with joy to be together. The coach, who just last year had their most talented group, has shared multiple times that this season has been their favorite season coaching, because of the culture of the group. The senior class has accepted their fate and decided that their legacy was far bigger than winning, but rather the way they led throughout this year. 

Capturing this story isn't easy; it's not a remarkable story of success. I even struggled with if its worth sharing. 

I ultimately decided that it was worth it because of those two conversations above. Rather than having athletes quit after a championship, this program has a group that has laid a strong foundation for what truly matters: being a part of something bigger than yourself and setting the right foundation for wins down the road. 

The Bottom Line

A team that focuses on winning at all costs is void of culture. If players are quitting and transferring because the environment is untenable, then we are failing, no matter what the record is. 

Being a part of a team is too valuable in this day; we must do better.